Would You Please Be Quiet, Please?

Okay. I’m back online.

That magical time of the year when my laptop craps out on me has come and gone. I have returned from the other side, but with noticeably fewer pictures and MP3s. In my absence, I see I’ve missed the dawning of the latest trend on Facebook – bugging your friends to list albums and movies and everything else. There doesn’t appear to be any specific reason for these lists and, frankly, this just makes me miss the lists and questionnaires from MySpace which never felt like an obligation.

So, here are my lists. Now shut up.

Fifteen Movies (in no particular order)
1. Reign of Fire
2. Robocop
3. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
4. Inception
5. Solaris
6. Army of Darkness
7. Wonder Boys
8. Piranha 3D
9. Dawn of the Dead (remake)
10. Superman Returns
11. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
12. The Fountain
13. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
14. Tropic Thunder
15. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Fifteen Albums (in no particular order)
1. “Reconstruction Site” by The Weakerthans
2. “Costello Music” by The Fratellis
3. “Tonight: Franz Ferdinand” by Franz Ferdinand
4. “Pinkerton” by Weezer
5. “King James Version” by Harvey Danger
6. “We Have the Facts and We’re Voting Yes” by Death Cab for Cutie
7. “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars” by David Bowie
8. “The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner” by Ben Folds Five
9. “The Hazards of Love” by The Decemberists
10. “Davy” by Coconut Records
11. “This Gigantic Robot Kills” by MC Lars
12. “Buried in Your Black Heart” by Burden Brothers
13. “Tah-Dah” by Scissor Sisters
14. “The Black and White Album” by The Hives
15. “Sam’s Town” by The Killers

Fifteen books (in no particular order)
1. “How the Hula Girl Sings” by Joe Meno
2. “As She Climbed Across the Table” by Jonathan Lethem
3. “Wonder Boys” by Michael Chabon
4. “Fargo Rock City” by Chuck Klosterman
5. “Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World” by Haruki Murakami
6. “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut
7. “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” by David Sedaris
8. “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” by Raymond Carver
9. “Porcelain Life Raft” by Jacob Bruggman
10. “Pastoralia” by George Saunders
11. “33 1/3: Court and Spark” by Sean Nelson
12. “The Zero” by Jess Walter
13. “Willful Creatures” by Aimee Bender
14. “Stranger Things Happen” by Kelly Link
15. “Refresh, Refresh” by Benjamin Percy

Fifteen things about me (in a very particular order)
1. I am a legally certified minister.
2. I own a bottle of Robocop bubble bath.
3. I feel naked when I wear a shirt without a collar.
4. I’ve never found a type of wine I enjoy.
5. I’ve never found a type of vodka I don’t enjoy.
6. My favorite incarnation of Doctor Who was played by Paul McGann.
7. My favorite incarnation of James Bond was played by Daniel Craig.
8. My favorite incarnation of Obi-Wan Kenobi was played by Alec Guinness.
9. My favorite incarnation of James T. Kirk was played by William Shatner.
10. My favorite incarnation of Batman was played by Kevin Conroy.
11. Poor grammar in text messages bothers me.
12. I don’t understand the appeal of Nascar.
13. I dislike bumper stickers.
14. I hate wearing sandals.
15. I love seeing girls wearing glasses.